PMS is one of the least understood, let alone culturally sympathized, phenomena which half of the planet suffers through. It’s a different experience for each of us – some women breeze right through it with only a twinge or two, while others are in legitimate misery for 2 weeks straight. Some of us become a little forgetful or momentarily crabby, while others among us become veritable gargoyles. Then, throw in the hormonal fluctuations, and you find yourself shamelessly horny after changing out your tampon. Like, now?? Seriously?!
Sexting may not seem like the answer for this phase of unadulterated natural sexism. But it can be! Hear me out! When you’re first dating someone who really excites you, you’ll sext with them through your whole period, under the guise of being “unavailable” because you don’t want to reveal the vulnerable and inhabitable state your vagina is in right now. They just think you’re playing a little hard to get, and they’re willing to work for it. Under normal circumstances, you’d consider your mood swings as crazy, right? Going from dominatrix (because of your irritability), to sweet and needy (because you hurt and need some comfort) within the course of about 15 minutes. But ask any guy over 40, and he’ll tell you that “crazy is sexy”, or at least, that was his experience in his 20s.
But sexting also alleviates a lot of your PMS symptoms because it distracts you from your physical discomforts. It puts butterflies in your belly, instead of just bloat. It doesn’t require the use of any body part that may be clumsy or achy or too swollen to move. Plus, you can be as naughty as you want – more than you’d normally ever be, in real life, in the bedroom – because chances are, your phone lover will forget the specifics by the time you’re ready for public appearances. They’re just left with the impression that you’re super sexy, and they want it!!
Even if you end up never running your fingers through your [unwashed] hair, touching your own [aching] breasts, running your fingers in a sexy curve down your [bloated] belly, and certainly didn’t really plunge your fingers into your lady parts – they don’t need to know that! You can still fulfill another’s desires, and increase their longing for you, while you’re halfway through a pint of ice cream, using chips as a spoon – since you’re just lounging around on the couch, anyway! So, when you’re back to feeling like yourself, you’ll know exactly what this phone lover can really do to get you turned on, when (and if) you actually do get together!